Common Crossdressing Misconceptions:
When Is A Crossdresser Not Just a Crossdresser?


The term “crossdresser” is a general, catch-all label, and crossdressers are lumped under the umbrella term of “transgendered” because they blur the lines of what is considered to be the gender “norm”. While the generic use of the term simply signifies that one enjoys or prefers the attire of the opposite sex, there are multiple degrees and manifestations of crossdressing behavior. Despite the common assumptions that use of such a blanket term prompts, there are undeniable differences in the extent to which crossdressing is desired, the overt expression of femininity expressed, and even the assumed sexual orientation of the crossdressing man. Within this dialogue, it is my intention to educate the masses and point out, illustrate, and elaborate on some similarities and –primarily the- differences within and across the spectrum of crossdressing men who make up this well-rounded class of fabulous and wonderful people, who are often greatly misunderstood and always underappreciated.

First, it should be noted that all crossdressing men are not visibly feminine in their day-to-day presentation. While some men who participate in some facet of crossdressing are naturally softer in appearance and more feminine in demeanor, there are plenty of crossdressing men who would be referred to “macho” or “men’s men” by women, friends, and colleagues. People may act as though they are completely unsurprised when an effeminate man expresses a desire to dress as a woman yet they are shocked and appalled when a man who is superficially, physically, and stereotypically masculine in appearance decides he feels completely natural slipping into a pair of silk panties and a matching bra at the end of the day. This is a commonly made error because the general population equates biological anatomy with strict gender identification, disallowing for the fact that while anatomical sex is generally considered to be strictly “male” or “female,” psychological gender is not “set” in such an arbitrary way. One’s “feeling” of his (or her) gender identity is not dictated solely by what lies between his legs; it is his own perception of himself along the continuum of masculinity to femininity that truly defines the gender image he has of himself. In other words, being the owner of a penis does not a “man” make, and discomfort over this assertion is typically the result of external forces and cues.

For the sake of clarity and further illustration, I am now going to break male crossdressers apart into the most common groups into which they are currently classified. Please bear in mind that there are no hard, steadfast rules here; this is simply a commonly used guideline to illustrate general differences among male crossdressers. We are now going to examine the differences between male transvestites, drag queens, and transsexuals.

First, we have the transvestites, who are the men who derive sexual pleasure from dressing in various and/or multiple items of women’s clothing. Within this group, there can be much variation in focus and expression of femininity. While one man may desire to wear nothing more than panties in order to feel sexy and comfortable, another man may require being dressed in lingerie, full outer clothing, shoes, make-up, and a wig in order to feel that he is expressing his own –true- perception of himself. Some men start expressing the femininity they feel by simply buying –or “borrowing”- a pair of panties with this act to be a mere scratching of their girly surface; they have every intention of progressing through additional stages in which they add to their femininity in both dress and behavior. Other men are happy to wear panties on occasion, when they feel tense or stressed and find that this expression of a female component brings them comfort and relief, and do not desire to wear additional female clothing or outwardly engage in behaviors that are considered to be girly. Regardless the extent to which transvestites desire to display their femininity, one thing that research consistently reveals is the fact over 90% of transvestites are heterosexual; this is certainly an assertion of which the general population appears to be very unaware, as the large majority of people assume that men who enjoy dressing in women’s lingerie and/or clothes are either gay or bisexual. Simply put, that is not true, and many men are extremely hesitant to reveal their desire and comfort in dressing women’s attire because they are aware that their sexual orientation will be immediately questioned. This further labeling only adds to the stigma of being a transvestite.

On the other hand, drag queens dress flamboyantly and openly, revel in heavy makeup and are typically gay. While the motivation for transvestites relies heavily –if not strictly- on a sexual component, that is not the case for drag queens, who dress as women for the sake of entertainment purposes and not the sexual thrill that transvestites find in crossdressing. It should also be added that, while transvestites do not wish to call unnecessary or unwelcome attention to themselves, drag queens thrive on attention. Drag queens also always fully dress as women –clothing, hair, and make-up- as opposed to the various stages of dress in which transvestites may engage. One important distinction to make since the two are commonly equated is the following: While female impersonators are often referred to as “drag queens,” there is a difference. Female impersonators are crossdressing men who perform and often make a career of impersonating (typically) famous female celebrities, such as singers or actresses, and they may be transsexuals, drag queens or transvestites.

With male-to-female (MTF) transsexuals, the motivation for dressing as a woman is not for purposes of sexual arousal, entertainment or attention. This population not only wishes to dress and behave as women, but they want to be that gender with which they specifically identify themselves: female. They feel as thought they have been born into the wrong body, and they strive to dress, behave, and undergo various procedures that will afford them to feel more like the gender with which they truly identify. They want to dress, act, and live full-time as females because they feel that everything about themselves –except for the anatomical genitalia with which they were born- is female. While some MTF transsexuals are satisfied to dress as women, progress through hormone therapy, and undergo breast augmentation, other MTF transsexuals want to become “complete” women by having sexual reassignment surgery performed. With regard to sexual orientation, MTF transsexuals may be sexually attracted to men, women or both.

Yes. All of this is certainly saying a mouthful, and can be overwhelming and confusing for those people who think a crossdresser is a crossdresser is a crossdresser. Let this be a guide in appreciating those men who opt to dress as women within their own desires, motivations, and contexts. You’re all fabulous, regardless of which category into which you fall. As a woman who adores everything about being a woman, I truly feel that imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, and I welcome you all into my world of all things feminine and Womanly.

 

 

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